Lessons dating

Adorable, and totally, utterly pointless after the age of 16.

The hot people date the hot people, the average people date the average people.

By not pressuring him or getting upset, you're actually showing him that you trust that he's not some selfish guy out to use you.

If someone only calls you during the day or only gives a work number or can only seem to make plans last minute, something is up.

Determine what those choices were and why you made them, and get your life back.

People use the "I'm not going to settle now" excuse out of fear, or because they have this really distorted sense of what they bring to the table.

Women spend a lot of money and time on creams, waxes, working out and makeup. It means he doesn't want to commit right at that moment, and certainly not after being coerced.

I was young, didn’t know he was married at first and totally didn’t understand the consequences of perpetuating such bad behavior.

Guys will date women their age up until about 35 or so.

That's when they instinctively seek out younger mates. By 35, even if you refuse to sell out, you need to clean up your act and stop walking around looking like you just rolled out of bed or haven't seen a barber in years. Just because you initiated the "where is this going" talk and he didn't immediately commit to you doesn't mean he won't or fears commitment.

Even though I didn’t know his wife at all, I should have been driven harder by the fact that she’s a fellow woman who deserves better. Your character and who you are matters, and when you do things that are crappy, it reflects poorly on your character. Regardless of what he says (she didn’t pay attention to him, all they did was fight, there was no sex), she didn’t deserve to be cheated on. If he was unhappy at home, he needed to man up and say so rather than betraying her.

Now that I’m much older and have spent several years acting more like a mature adult and less like a self-centered jerk, I understand this and make my decisions much more judiciously. At the time, I didn’t give a single damn, but now that I look back on it, I can’t believe what a tool I was. Divorce is easy enough to secure if it was really that bad. I’m worth more than a guy who already belonged to another woman. He was already married and was never going to be truly mine, and while I worried I was never going to find the right guy, I eventually did — and now he’s married to me. We learn when we’re young that we shouldn’t steal things that don’t belong to us. He was someone else’s husband and not mine to be involved with.

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